So I’m super guilty of this – and I’m sure we’re all – telling ourselves things that just are not true. After reading Girl Wash Your Face by Rachel Hollis, I thought it would be interesting to share some of my own “lies” that I tell myself on the daily. Not only may this be kind of therapeutic for me, but I hope this may serve some motivation to you as well! Let’s get it…
You’re not moving fast enough
This is probably the biggest one – I’m constantly feeling like I’m not being productive enough, accomplishing enough or just plain “doing enough”. It’s absolutely insatiable. If you have even just a spark of ambition, you probably know what I’m talking about. It’s the whole fictional spiel of “by the time I’m 25, I’ll have a big house, a great job and a rock on my finger” (even though mine was more like “a brownstone in NYC and a Chanel bag” – but hey, we all have dreams).
What I say to this is – screw it. Who cares? YOU ARE DOING THE BEST YOU CAN. And that’s what matters. Accomplishing things just for the sake of checking them off of your to-do list is so… boring and mindless. I know it’s cheesy to talk about the journey rather than the destination, but this is the truth. Enjoy each step of the way as much as you can, and soon enough, that nagging voice telling you to “do more!” will get a little quieter. I promise.
But Rach, how the f$%@ am I supposed to do that? Slow down. When I took a step back, and focused more on self-care, is when I realized that everything I’m doing now is pretty cool. Mindfulness, CBT and meditation all play major parts. The more I focus on what I can do right now – the less I worry about the future.
Your job isn’t that legit
Imposter syndrome at it’s finest. Being self-employed, there was never an aha moment for me for when this small hobby turned into my career. Even though I’ve been able to financially support myself the last two years on my YouTube channel and Instagram, I still feel … jobless. It’s a weird thing to describe, but after chatting about it with some of my friends in the same boat – I realized how common this is.
My answer to this: You are whoever you want to be. The more I suppressed the idea that what I’m doing is actually how I make a living, the more I felt like it was not “real”. When people ask you what you “do”, say it confidently and proudly – even if you’re having an off-day. Surround yourself with a tribe that lifts you up, and validates the ups and downs of your hustle.
You’re lazy af
I don’t really know why burning out is glamourized so much. I really believe it’s a complete and total lie that success only comes when you haven’t eaten, slept and on the verge of a mental breakdown. We see it all the time – and I absolutely refuse to give in. Proper self-care and being a successful human being are not mutually exclusive – they can co-exist.
I used to feel an exorbitant amount of shame if I didn’t have a “productive” day – and don’t get me started on what it was like when I did not accomplish enough for the week. It took me a long time, and many self-reminders that hey – you’re doing the best you can with what you’ve got.
“DO YOUR BEST” is one of my favourite mantras. If I can confidently say that I did my best that day – despite any obstacles that were in my way – I did enough. This saying has been really helpful, especially when I’m having a stressful week.
Life will be better if I was a few pounds lighter
In case this isn’t super obvious – I was never a very active person. In the last couple years since I’ve graduated university, I finally see the value in working out. That being said, my body has changed drastically through my undergrad and sometimes, I wouldn’t know how to deal with it.
I often go through spurts of feeling grateful for the body I have, and sometimes – let’s just be honest – I feel like shit. It starts to rollercoaster into thinking, if I was just a teeny bit smaller, maybe I would feel like I have it all together. But *que Maury Povich voice*… THAT IS A LIE!
How do I know this? Because I’ve lived it. When I was dealing with the rock-bottom of my anxiety, I was probably a good fifteen pounds lighter than I am now. I wasn’t eating, sleeping and living in constant fear – but according to my comments, I sure looked good.
I was really, really miserable. But it’s just so easy to think the grass is greener on the other side.
I’m not saying that weightless always coincides with this, but for me – it always has. I always feel best about my body (and life overall) when I’m not focusing on the numbers, and instead my well-being. Super cheesy – but true.
If I wake up late my whole day is over!
I get into this weird funk if I don’t wake up at an hour that’s socially acceptable. Even if I’m jet lagged, or had a really late work night before.
Basically, I can debunk this in one short quote:
“A bad moment doesn’t make a bad day” – I can’t find the source for the life of me, so if you know it – please let me!
Anyways, enough with my rambles. I hope maybe this small peek into my brain can help someone in some sort of way. Onward and upward!
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Hey Rach, first time in your blog – and what a great post! I never saw these little phrases as “lies” until now, and I actually will proceed to identify them as such since I think will help either ignoring them or giving them less importance.
Lately I’ve been working on “being kind to myself” and your message aligns with that.